I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
