I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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