Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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