What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
