I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
