There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
barbara walters just said penis...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
