I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
