It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
