so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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