i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
