Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
