Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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