she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
