Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
