we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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