I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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