I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
