I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
even my farts smell like vagina
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
