PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I look better un-naked...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
