My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
