I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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