O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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