dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think my moral compass just broke
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
