did you get engaged???
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
