I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
