Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
