It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
