fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
