guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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