god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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