doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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