If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
