Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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