fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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