Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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