He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
