Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
