On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
