I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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