what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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