Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
