so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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