After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
