dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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