well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
