this boner is exhausting
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The beer is more important than you right now.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Someone came in the potted fern
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
