I wanna bring you to show and tell
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
