It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
