i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
