May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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