don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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